Chronic pain is often described as an invisible illness—one that isn’t easily seen, but deeply felt. It can disrupt every aspect of a person’s life, from physical activity and emotional well-being to work, relationships, and self-esteem. For those who love someone living with pain, it can be difficult to know how to help.
Jordan Sudberg, a leading pain management specialist, emphasizes that support from family and friends plays a crucial role in helping individuals manage their pain effectively. “Living with pain is never just a physical experience,” says Dr. Sudberg. “It’s emotional, mental, and social—and having a strong support system can make all the difference.”
In this blog post, we explore meaningful ways to support someone dealing with chronic pain, based on Dr. Jordan Sudberg’s expertise and patient-centered philosophy.
1. Educate Yourself About Their Condition
One of the most powerful things you can do is take the time to learn about the condition your loved one is facing. “Understanding what chronic pain really is can help eliminate judgment and create a more compassionate environment,” says Dr. Sudberg.
Chronic pain can stem from a variety of sources—arthritis, nerve damage, fibromyalgia, old injuries, or unknown causes. The more you know, the better equipped you’ll be to provide the right kind of support. Read reputable articles, listen to patient stories, and, if appropriate, join them at a medical appointment to hear directly from their care team.
2. Believe Them
This may seem simple, but it’s one of the most important pieces of advice. People living with pain are often told that “it’s all in your head” or “you don’t look sick.” Dr. Sudberg points out that this kind of disbelief can add to a patient’s stress and feelings of isolation.
“Pain is subjective, but that doesn’t make it any less real,” he explains. “Trust that your loved one knows what they’re feeling, even if you can’t see the source.”
By validating their experience, you create a safe space for open dialogue, which is vital for emotional and mental well-being.
3. Offer Practical Help Without Overstepping
People in pain often struggle with everyday tasks, even if they don’t always ask for help. Offering assistance with things like grocery shopping, household chores, or transportation to appointments can be a huge relief. However, Dr. Jordan Sudberg advises doing this with sensitivity.
“It’s important to ask how you can help, not just assume,” he says. “Some people want their independence, and overly stepping in can make them feel helpless.”
A simple “What do you need today?” or “Would it help if I took care of this for you?” can go a long way.
4. Encourage, Don’t Pressure
Chronic pain can sap energy and motivation. Encouraging someone to stay active, eat well, and follow their treatment plan is helpful—but pushing them too hard can backfire. “Support should never feel like pressure,” Dr. Sudberg warns.
Instead of saying “You should be exercising more,” try “Would you like me to go on a short walk with you?” The difference in tone and approach makes the support feel collaborative rather than critical.
5. Be There Emotionally
Pain isn’t just physical. It often comes with anxiety, depression, and a sense of isolation. Just being present for someone—listening without judgment, offering a shoulder to lean on, or spending time together—can be deeply healing.
Dr. Sudberg emphasizes the emotional toll chronic pain can take: “Many patients feel misunderstood and alone. Regular emotional check-ins and a consistent presence can be just as impactful as any medication.”
6. Support Their Treatment Journey
Pain management is often complex and ongoing. As a pain specialist, Dr. Sudberg works with patients to develop comprehensive treatment plans that may include physical therapy, injections, medications, mental health support, and alternative therapies like acupuncture or mindfulness.
Family and friends can help by encouraging adherence to treatment, being understanding about appointments, and recognizing the ups and downs of managing chronic pain. “Healing isn’t always linear,” says Dr. Sudberg. “But having people who support that process unconditionally makes it easier.”
7. Take Care of Yourself, Too
Supporting someone in chronic pain can be emotionally taxing. Dr. Sudberg reminds caregivers and loved ones to also prioritize their own health. “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” he says. “It’s okay to take breaks, seek counseling, or connect with support groups for caregivers.”
By staying well yourself, you’ll be better able to provide consistent, compassionate support without burning out.
Final Thoughts
Supporting someone who lives with chronic pain isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about showing up, listening, and standing beside them through good days and bad. As Jordan Sudberg emphasizes, “Your presence, empathy, and encouragement are among the most powerful tools for healing.”
Whether your loved one is just beginning their pain management journey or has been coping for years, your support can make all the difference. Keep showing up, keep learning, and never underestimate the power of compassion.